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She dead before she could live.

Everytime i take a piece of paper,pick up a pen,my hands start to shiver. I feel the tears building up. I use to write poetry. I use to be in control of my mind. I made so many mistakes. After years of tears and pain , the mistakes turned into ghosts. Watching me. Reminding me that there is no real way out. There is no do over. There is no escape.
Moving on is trying to forget. But how can you forget something that isin’t finished. And cant be finished  cause the book was already locked and sealed a long time ago.
Doctors,medication,talking,therapy. It’s all a lie. You can’t return from the dead. Soon your life turns into your afterlife. You walk around the same streets over and over again , thinking about all the things you didn’t do and wish you did. You can cry. You can pray. But there is no God. There is no solution in the world to make up for all the things you continue to feel sad about. It’s not depression. It’s not pain. Not the lies or the hate. It’s not even you. When people don’t have anything to come back to. They die. Or they turn to Art.
There is a reason we cant forget. A reason we keep coming back. A reason why you will never feel happyness. Or know what that word means.

The answer lies in every tear you’ve ever cried.

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Rodyk draugams

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