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Overvelming hate

Sitting in front of my computer screen. Tears running down my face. Silently praying for the sun to go down so i can crawl into a ball in my bed and continue crying. I hate myself so f*cking much. And im so f*cking tired of hating myself. I cant take it anymore. I look at myself and i want to hit the f*cking mirror. I look at my life and see nothing. Just dust from my past. I’ve lost everything and its pissing me off to the point where i see sleeping pills on my desk , want to overdose and die. I find an excuse for every mistake i made in my life. I want to cut my skin off cause all of the things im crying about are my fault. Im a hypocrite. A peace f shit person. I dont even know what i believe in anymore. Sometimes i lock myself in a bathroom stool in my high school. Just to cry. Cause i hate myself that im afraid. I hate myself i let people get to me. I hate myself cause im so f*cking confused. I hate myself cause i destroy. hate this. I hate me.

I.. Just…Hate.

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